CHEAP & QUICK DIVORCE
Divorce doesn’t need to be messy. Or, expensive.
Ideally, divorce is the fair dissolution of marital assets and the construction of a child-centered parenting system.
I talk in depth about the financial complications of the divorce process. Why? Because that’s my experience, and it’s what I am now trained to help with as a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.
However, my personal divorce experience was not ideal. There are better (and cheaper) ways of handling divorce.
While no divorce experience is pleasant, I interviewed one lovely lady who had the cheapest, most amicable divorce I ever heard of. She kindly agreed to let me publish her story.
Her divorce experience is worth sharing, because it is proof that you can divorce quickly, and cheaply.
- How long did it take you to get divorced, from the time the paperwork was filed, till the divorce was official?
It was exactly 61 days. The waiting period in my state is 60 days.
- Did you file? Or your spouse?
I filed and did pretty much everything. I paid for it, organized it, and instructed my ex on what needed to happen, etc.
- Did you hire an attorney?
I filled out all the paperwork on my own (with friends for support) and then hired an attorney to look it over and make sure I wasn’t missing something.
- If not, did you hire anyone else to help you?
My good friends helped me fill out the paperwork which we printed off google.
- If not, how did you figure out the process of how to get divorced on your own?
The internet and the courthouse were helpful.
- What steps did you take to get divorced (the paperwork process, etc)?
- I downloaded my state-specific forms for non-contested divorces with children.
- I filled them out with friends.
- I had an attorney look over it
- I brought it to the courthouse and filed it.
- After that, my ex had to either show up in court or get it notarized before our court date. He chose to notarize it and send it with me because we agreed on everything (I also asked him not to go to court because I didn’t want the extra emotional issues that could create).
- How did you decide "who would get what"?
When he first told me he wanted a divorce, I basically told him the three things I wanted and he agreed.
- Did you run into any issues/problems?
- How much did your divorce cost you?
Approximately $360 to the state of Texas and maybe $100 for an hour of the attorney’s time.
- Do you think there was anything you did to make the process go so smoothly?
I don’t really have a ton of advice. I think we both just wanted to take the high road.
- Or, what would you attribute your smooth/inexpensive divorce process to?
We just wanted to end it peacefully. We chose not to fight, raise voices, etc. If things ever got emotionally tense, we just took some time before we continued the conversation.
I think we both gave each other grace. For example, I kept his personal belongings a lot longer than I would have preferred. And, I chose not to mention many things that would have been unhelpful in the divorce process, although I felt entitled to. I also left some money in our joint checking account for him to use, rather than draining it entirely.
In return, he gave me more than I may have deserved (i.e. custody issues, equity in home, retirement).
- If you could do it all over again, would you do anything differently?
I think I would be more explicit about child custody arrangements.
- Do you have any advice for others (in the context of divorce)?
It will get better. You will heal and that process can be really great. You get to redefine yourself.
SUPPORT & INSPIRATION FOR THE CHEAP & QUICK DIVORCE
My favorite divorce resource for those who are striving for an amicable divorce, check follow Olga's work with Divorce For Love. She coaches people to take the high road in divorce, and how to navigate a difficult transition with grace and confidence.
DIVORCING A NARCISSIST
This method will not work if you are married to a narcissist. If you are experiencing emotional, verbal, or financial abuse, seek professional help immediately.
I recommend you find a support group or a therapist trained in this type of case. If your finances are complicated, contact me to help.
This part of the money equation is not as simple, regardless of how easy your divorce is.
Divorce is likely the biggest financial change you will experience in your lifetime. You go from two incomes to one (if you were are a stay-at-home mom or dad, I address that issue elsewhere on my blog and YouTube channel). You have most of the same expenses you did when you were married, but you have a lot less income to cover them now. And, your retirement savings were probably depleted by half. Ouch.
Take the time to create a new financial plan for your new, independent stage of life. Be proactive about this, post-divorce. You can avoid the common financial pitfalls many divorcees experience. My goal is for you to be 100% financially independent. Best of all, you can someday remarry for love, rather than influenced by the pressure to cohabitate in order to reduce living expenses.
Many thanks to the woman who shared her story with me.
May your divorce be as amicable, cheap, and quick as hers was.